It was announced earlier this week that Rob Zombie's new album will be entitled Venemous Rat Regeneration Vendor and will see a April 23 release. This begs the question...does anyone come up with better album names than Zombie?
Lets take a look back.
White Zombie's 1992 album La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1set the bar pretty damn high.
However, Zombie was able to equal that awesomeness with 1996's Super Sexy Swingin' Sounds. That title alone makes me want to dance and jam out...and have sex, I guess.
Then came 1999's American Made Music To Strip By. Straight to the point. No questions asked when it comes to what kind of product you're getting into. All balls.
And finally, who could forget about last year's Mondo Sex Head? I've known a few guys who referred to their penises as that, but as an album title? Slow clap for Zombie.
So it can be deduced that Rob Zombie knows how to name an album. I hope his next effort is titled something along the lines of Raging Nutsack Poisened Minions From Outer Space, Part 1.
Many people "suffer" from Seasonal Affective Disorder during the winter months.
See this sad dude? He's going through it right now. What a wuss.
Yes, winter blows. Being stuck indoors all the time really sucks a bag, but if you're a person who has dealt with a relatively harsh winter every year of your life, NUT THE F*CK UP!
Embrace the cold darkness of winter!
Check out these winter warriors...all balls.
I hate snow more than the Q-Girls hate clothes, but at least it offers a visual spectacle now and then.
However, I am clonflicted. I loathe snow, but enjoy explosions. How do I feel about a combination of them both?
PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
So love it or hate it, winter is here and it's not going away anytime soon. Make the most of the turd your dealt.
If you're a wrestling fan, you're aware that the Royal Rumble is the best pay-per-view of the year. Last night's Rumble was made even better when TOOL guitarist Adam Jones proposed to his lady!
Apparently Jones is a huge wrestling fan, but for as cryptic as TOOL is about everything, you would think he would choose to do this somewhere else. But at the same time, what better place!
In celebration of this prog-rock engagement, enjoy some of Adam's best work!
Hulktallica! by Chow Q98,posted Jan 25 2013 6:53PM
It has long been rumored that Hulk Hogan auditioned for Metallica after the death of Cliff Burton. Hogan recently cleared things up in an interview where he stated that he sent tapes into the band hoping they would give him a chance, but they never got back to him. Can you imagine if Hulkamania had gotten the chance to run wild on the metal scene?
Lars and Hulk could have been the greatest 1-2 punch the metal world had ever scene!
Think of the promotional shots the guys could have gotten together!
We'll never know what could have been, but one thing is certain. Hogan is actually a respectable bassist. Check out this footage of him jamming with a band in Sturgis!
Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter claims he prepared for his role in the upcoming film "Horns" by listening to heavy music. To that, I say cheers! Hopefully this new found demonic aggression persists and Radcliffe becomes one with the dark...m/
Check out what the Harry Potter series may have been like if Radcliffe had found his metal side earlier!
German magazine Metal Hammer is celebrating the 30th anniversary of Metallica's debut album Kill 'Em All with a bad ass album of covers! The likes of Motorhead, Black Tide and Anthrax appear on the album, re-inventing the fury that launched Metallica into the music scene.
Check out this brutal cover of "No Remorse" by Cannibal Corpse to preview what lies within the album!
Ever wondered what "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica would sound like if it were digitally altered up to a major scale?
Of course you haven't!
Regardless, I present this to you!
As much as we all love the original, there is something strangely beautiful about this, so don't be afraid to be a pussy for six minutes while listening to it.
We've all been subjected to a wealth of anti-bullying campaigns lately. But finally, for the first time ever, we have the black metal perspective of the benefits of bullying!
No matter what happens in life, remember one thing... IT GETS DARKER!
Now that you have familiarized yourself with them, help them out!
The band is allowing fans to fund their new album as a big middle finger of sorts to record labels! Support the cause by checking out this site! If you cough up enough bread, you can be on the next album! ($5000)
The 2013 Topps Archives baseball set will include limited edition "Heavy Metal Autographs". How do these two things fit together? I have no idea! The set will include but is not limited to such legends as Sebastian Bach of Skid Row, Tommy Lee of Motley Crue, Scott Ian of Anthrax, and Dee Snider of Twisted Sister.
Each card is limited to 25 copies so bust your ass out and get them...I guess?
Sometimes life is just too god damn much and you need to take a nap ASAP. What do you do, though, when you just can't find comfort? Well, my friend, that's simple. OSTRICH PILLOW!
Look how practical it is! The best part is that it is barely noticable!
Need to take a quick power nap at work? No f*ckin' problem!
Next time you need a quick snooze, make sure you have an OSTRICH PILLOW on hand! You'll look like a fool without one!
The future of music is here: COMPRESSORHEAD! These guys...err robots...kick ass! The drummer rocks so hard that I'm considering calling him up for my next project!
Check out the unrivaled excellence of COMPRESSORHEAD!
It appears that by mid-2013, the Netherlands will install a new highway system that glows in the dark! As a person who wore a glow-in-the-dark Pantera shirt to work today, this kicks ass!
According to a German TV show, "I Was Made For Lovin' You" by Kiss is the greatest party song of all time. Let me ask you, have you ever partied to this song? Have you ever done anything fun while listening to this song? Have you ever listened to this song and not immediately switched it to something else?
I obviously am not a huge Kiss fan, but even for them, this song is a big, smelly diarrhea-dump!
If you've never heard it before, check it out below! Maybe you'll fall in love with it for all the wrong reasons!
